Fixing The Breakdown
by btamamura
Summary: Sequel to Hurt. Satsuki and Sho discuss the best possible way to help Natsuki through his breakdown. Shounen-ai. Natsuki x Sho.


**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Uta no Prince-sama or the characters._

**Notes:**_** Okay, so here's the sequel to **__Hurt__** and I've decided to give Satsuki a larger role. He's a pretty cool character too, and it's evident he does care about Natsuki. I don't see him as a bad guy, I just see him as someone carrying way too much hurt. That's why most of this story contains Sho trying to comfort him as well. This fic contains shounen-ai between Natsuki and Sho, while I see Natsuki and Satsuki more as soul-brothers. If you don't like shounen-ai, that is two males in a romantic relationship, please leave now. If you enjoy it or are just okay with it, then please read on and I hope you enjoy this story.**_

Sho woke the next morning, the sun was brightly shining through the window to the bedroom he shared with Natsuki. But, he wasn't feeling the same way. The night was restless for both of the teenagers. Following Natsuki's breakdown the day before, there were times the older male would wake only to start crying again. Sho would then wake and try to comfort him, but the only way, it seemed, for Natsuki to find peace was to cry himself into a state of slumber. The cycle would continue barely an hour later.

Sho was left wondering if maybe Natsuki was reliving that day in his dreams as well. He didn't want that to happen, he wanted Natsuki to be at peace, he didn't want his friend, no his beloved, to hurt as much as he was. But, he was. That was what upset Sho the most. Natsuki was hurting and it seemed no matter what he did or said, the pain was still too deep for him to heal alone.

The taller blond stirred, causing Sho to tense. Would it be Natsuki who woke this morning? Or would it be Satsuki this time around? If it was Natsuki, would he only break into a new fit of sobs and tears? If it was Satsuki, would he start flinging everything around the room, upset that Natsuki's heart was still wounded?

Green eyes opened slowly, there was a coldness to them. It appeared Satsuki had woken. "Sho."

"Satsuki?"

"Yeah. I'm letting Natsuki rest some more."

"He couldn't stop crying last night, no matter what I did."

"I told you that not even you can comfort him over this. So?"

"What?"

"You just gonna give up?"

"Never. I don't know how I can help Nacchan, and I hate that. But, it doesn't mean I'm gonna give up trying. It's going to take a long time, but I'll eventually find the best way to help him."

Satsuki's eyes softened. "Good." He sat up, easing out of the smaller blond's embrace. He was certain Sho wasn't even aware he was still holding the older male.

"Satsuki, can I ask something?"

"What? If it's stupid, then I'll shut your mouth."

Sho knew the threat was empty of violent intent. Satsuki had already promised that he was never going to harm Sho because it would hurt Natsuki, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause more hurt for the broken teen. "Why is it...I mean...how is that you're here?"

"Wanna phrase that another way?"

"I can't. I can't seem to find the right way to phrase it."

He let out a deep sigh. "Well, you know what happened now, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"But, not beyond Natsuki's betrayal. You don't know beyond that, right?"

He silently shook his head.

"Thought so. Natsuki's not aware of my presence, well not entirely at least. He has some awareness, but when he's conscious, then he forgets. It's better that way." He closed his eyes and recalled the day he came into existence, quietly recounting it to Sho.

_**Natsuki, a child at the time, ran into his bedroom and slammed the door shut. He needed to get away from all of the talk that was going on because of him, the song he'd composed and the woman he'd composed it for. His back was to the door and he slowly slid down until he was sitting on the floor. He took one last, tearful glance at the music score sheets he held in his hands, wanting to prove that he was the one who'd composed **__Satsuki__**, but he was a child, who'd believe him? He flung the sheets across the room, not caring where they landed and pulled his knees to his chest. Tears filled his large, green eyes and slipped down his cheeks.**_

_**A child who looked just like him appeared in the room, only he was incorporeal. He carefully approached the spectacled child and knelt before him. "Natsuki..."**_

_**The child felt something touch his head, and that was all he needed to finally let out all of his hurt feelings. He cried aloud, not allowing himself to stop, not telling himself to hold back.**_

_**The concerned child wrapped his arms around Natsuki and held him as he continued to cry. "Shh, it's alright. You don't have to feel this pain anymore. Let me in and I'll feel it for you." He could feel acceptance he was sure the spectacled child wasn't aware of and felt his form merge into that of the crying child.**_

_**The sobs stopped, the room grew quiet. "I promise I will feel all of your pain, I will express it. You're much better as a happy child." He removed the spectacles and rubbed at his eyes, removing the fragments of the tears yet to be cried. "I can't be you, though. I can be your other half, but I can't be you." He got to his feet and walked across the room, picking up one of the music score sheets and reading the title written. "My name...is Satsuki, I will be named after the cause of your pain, to remind anyone who'd hurt you that you do feel it, you just will never show it."**_

Sho couldn't do anything other than stare at Satsuki, minutes after he'd finished the story of his origin. He licked his lips to moisten them and cleared his throat, hoping he could say what he wanted to. "You..." His voice squeaked so he tried again. "You really do care about Nacchan, don't you?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Only someone who truly cares about another will take on their pain." His eyes widened in realisation.

"Found your answer, huh?"

"But, it's hard...I can't just merge into him like you did."

"Idiot." He gave him a light whap on the back of his head, and ignored the glare the shorter blond shot him. "Everybody manages to take on the hurt of their loved ones one way or another. It's not like everyone merges with them."

"But then..."

"Idiot, just do what you're doing now. Listen to Natsuki, cry with him, comfort him when he cries and stay with him. That's all you need to do. Don't ignore his feelings and help him work through them."

"Will you be out longer today?"

"No. As much as I think it's best for Natsuki to rest, in the end, maybe allowing him to hide the pain has caused this."

Sho couldn't believe what he was seeing. Satsuki looked sad. "Satsuki?"

"You've heard it before, right? If you bottle up your pain and hurt, in the end, it's only going to be worse when you reach breaking point. That's what's happened to Natsuki. Because I took on his hurt and tried to feel it for him, he managed to reach breaking point, and in the end, I hindered him instead of helped him."

"No."

The taller blond turned to Sho.

"You're here because you care for Nacchan. You did help him get through these years. I can't imagine what kind of person he'd be if he just shouldered everything. Yesterday when I brought him back to the room, I could only see one thing...he was broken. You kept him from falling apart for all of these years. You have helped him, Satsuki."

"But, his breakdown..."

"Everyone has something that will cause them to break down. I do too."

"Yours?"

"I guess I can tell you. I told Nacchan eventually. Or rather, he found out on his own and got me to tell him everything. I was born with a weak heart, and as the years pass, my life is shortened. Knowing that I could die any day is what caused my breakdown. Even if someone shoulders your pain, there's still chances you'll break down."

Satsuki's eyes widened and he smiled kindly. It wasn't as radiant as Natsuki's ever-cheerful smile, but it was still genuine. "All you really need is for someone you love and someone who loves you to help you through it."

"I want to help Nacchan through his. I know it will take a long time as this is a deep wound, but I can do it."

"I'm glad it's you, Sho."

"Huh?"

"The one Natsuki fell in love with. I'm glad it's you. I don't think there could've been anybody else just as caring. Well, aside from Nanami Haruka." Without warning, he pulled Sho into an embrace and kissed his forehead. "Look after Natsuki, alright?"

Sho nodded, speechless because of Satsuki's actions. He'd never seen him act so gentle before. Every other time he'd seen him, before he and Natsuki had formed a relationship beyond friendship, he'd fear for his life. But, this time he wasn't afraid of Satsuki, and it wasn't just because of his promise to never hurt him.

"I'll bring Natsuki back now. Look after him."

Sho waited for a sign that Natsuki had returned.

Natsuki sat in a dark room, sobs sounding from him as he hugged his knees to his chest and rested his head on them. The pain from long ago was still deep, still hurting him.

The incorporeal form from long ago approached him and knelt before him. "Sho wants to help you, Natsuki. He won't give up. He's willing to shoulder all of your pain so you no longer have to bear it alone." Satsuki wrapped his arms around him.

This always happened. Whenever he was brought into consciousness, Natsuki would be back in this room, crying his heart out. Only this time, he was not a little boy. He was a teenager, almost an adult. This appeared to be the only place Natsuki could feel the pain, but when brought back to consciousness, he would always find himself confused as if he'd simply blanked out, not retreated to grieve.

Satsuki gave the spectacled blond a kiss on his temple. "Go now. If you need to keep crying out there, then keep crying. Sho will stay with you through all of it."

Natsuki looked up at his double. "Satsuki..."

"You will be alright, Natsuki. We can't hide you from it any longer, it's not helping. Let everything out, tell Sho everything. Share your hurt feelings about the betrayal. It may be the only way you can recover from this."

The spectacled blond nodded, tears still falling from his eyes. "Alright, Satsuki."

"Go on." Satsuki did not expect the quick kiss on the cheek before Natsuki vanished. He placed his hand there. "I guess he cares about me too. Maybe one day, he'll be able to remember my existence. Until then, it's better if he doesn't. I'll be waiting right here, Natsuki."

Sho knew Natsuki had returned, but it wasn't because the blond blinked in confusion or glomped him immediately upon seeing him. He saw tears welling in the green eyes and knew it was time for Natsuki to work through his breakdown. _Just wait and see, Satsuki. We'll be able to help Nacchan again._

Natsuki gripped onto Sho and allowed the tears to come. He vaguely recalled being told to let go of all of his hurt and share it with Sho. So, that is what he did.

For the rest of the day, the two of them stayed in bed, Natsuki crying, Sho sometimes joining him. Natsuki shared everything. He shared how he felt about the betrayal, about how he'd tried to prove he was the one who'd composed the song only to be looked down on just because he was a child. Sho listened and responded whenever he could, even without words. He'd just hold Natsuki, wipe his cheeks when the tears slowed, kissed him lightly on the cheek and allowing his own tears to fall. He was taking on all of Natsuki's pain. It was always easiest when someone's pain was halved, and he knew it would be like that for Natsuki.

It was just before dinner that the tears had finally ceased and Natsuki had calmed down. He didn't appear to be close to tears again, but Sho continued to hold him. "Sho-chan?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you so much for listening to me. I haven't been able to tell anyone about it for a long time. I thought they'd do as those other people had done and look down on me."

"Anybody who does that to someone who's hurting obviously doesn't care enough. I love you, Nacchan, and I couldn't just let you shoulder the burden alone." He couldn't tell about Satsuki, he knew Natsuki would be able to remember him one day, only when Satsuki felt it was the right time.

"I love you too, Sho-chan. I'm so lucky."

"Hmm?"

"I'm so lucky that it was you I fell in love with. I'm so lucky that I've had you as a friend for all these years."

_And you have another friend who's been looking out for you all this time, Nacchan._ Sho couldn't voice that thought, so he just hugged the blond. "How do you feel?"

"Much better now. I guess in the end, I just had to release everything."

"I'm glad you did. If you ever feel something's upsetting you, you can always come to me. I'll help you."

"The same goes for you, Sho-chan." He held the younger teen close and kissed the top of his head. "I love you, so I want to halve your burdens by taking them on as well."

Sho smiled. "I love you too, Nacchan."

From inside that same dark room, Satsuki smiled as he could feel Natsuki had finally found a sense of peace concerning the hurt he'd been feeling for years. _It's all thanks to you, Sho._


End file.
